On Gay Marriage And DOMA

I am posting this again at the request of a friend who actually used today’s news to come out publically for the first time ever at the age of 48. I wrote this exactly two years ago Saturday, after the Defense Of Marriage Act was struck down. Brenda honored me by requesting I repost this, and I gladly honor her request. I hope you will indulge me.


I have watched, and listened to reaction after the Supreme Court struck down the Defense Of Marriage Act. I respect and understand others have different outlooks and opinions, but for the life of me, I cannot begin to understand the hate and vitriol that continues to spew from those who consider themselves good Christian people. Even before the ruling was an hour old, there were Christian groups vowing to fight it.

Before you stop reading and chalk me up as a non-believing Atheist, let me stop you. I am not only a believer in God, but I pray daily. I was raised to believe God is a loving and inclusive being who loves everyone.  I am also a fifty-one year-old heterosexual male, so I have absolutely no dog in this fight.

I was born in West Virginia and grew up in Ohio. I may have known gay people when I was a kid. Frankly I don’t know for sure.  It was not something that was discussed. We heard whispers occasionally about people who were, “different”, or “funny that way”, but in my memory, I knew very little about gay people until I was in high school. Even then it wasn’t something widely discussed.

In my chosen profession of radio, I began to cross paths with many gay people as the years flew by. Frankly, as long as they could do the job and do it well, it didn’t matter to me. Still doesn’t. As I expanded into some TV work it became even more common to have gay co-workers. Again, didn’t matter at all to me. Some of my closest friends in media are gay. In fact most of those I respect the most in my business are gay.

As gay activism began to spread across the country, I began to hear more and more so-called righteous, Christian people talk about the evil that gay people represented, and how gays were trying to recruit children to the lifestyle. It was funny to me then and now, because that’s EXACTLY what righteous Christian people do. Recruit children to their chosen doctrine.  I have never seen, or heard a gay person try to invite a kid to a meeting for indoctrination. Doesn’t happen. A more ridiculous thing I have never heard.

By the same token, i cannot ever recall a gay person speaking in hatred against straight people. It may happen, and in fact probably does, but they seem to have a better sense of decorum because I never hear it in public.

I realize attitudes n this country are difficult to change, but here’s the most important part of what I want to say. You don’t have to change, sacrifice, or lose anything, in order  to have a just, and fair society. What will it take for everyone on America to understand that gay marriage doesn’t hurt them or their children.  As recently as 1967, interracial marriage was still illegal. A felony, punishable by a prison term. Prison? For loving someone? Yes. But that has all changed and now is hardly an issue on a public level.

I have friends and acquaitences on all sides of the political spectrum. Arch-Conservative, and Ultra-Liberal. All of them have something that causes me to like and respect them. As a result, i know there will be a divided reaction to this post. For those who disagree, I have no ill will or hatred, and I know there will be some pushback here. But my fervent hope is that we all get along. No one is hurting anyone. Live and let live folks. When invoking God in this discussion, I seldom hear opponents saying, “God Is Love” but he is. He must be–or a lot of us would already be gone from this life


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