Trump Needs WWE

I think I have finally figured out Donald Trump and his Presidential campaign.   Donald Trump has a campaign akin to something Vince McMahon would produce for a pro wrestling extravaganza. Complete with heroes, villains, the female wrestlers, and silly managers. Trump has taken “Kayfabe”, to the highest level. “Kayfabe” is the plot of wrestling. Character development, nuances, trademarks, gimmicks, and even misdirection.

At first, I thought he might be the new P.T. Barnum, but he’s too slippery to be such a clichéd huckster. I also considered he might be the next incarnation of Colonel Tom Parker, but I don’t think Trump has enough shyster in him for that comparison. Besides, Parker was a one-note guy and ol’ Donald seems to be much more well-rounded than a guy who just tried to bleed his client dry and work him until he dropped. At least I think so. Parker used to pull a trick when he was selling hot dogs at carnivals. He placed two wiener ends on a bun and covered the middle with onions. When the suckers screeched in protest, Parker would point to a forlorn frank lying in the dust saying, “You dropped yer meat son, now move on along.” I can actually see Trump doing that.

He’s got a little bit of Jimmy Swaggart in him too by the sound of things. Even though he couldn’t name a single bible verse after claiming the Bible is his favorite book. But then Jimmy kind of played fast and loose with his interpretation of what he preached too.

Trump seems to think he’s all things-to all people. Something for everyone. Just like Vince McMahon and his wrestling ventures. Heroes (Faces) for the kids to worship, Villains (Heels) for everyone to boo, and pretty girls for everyone to ogle. Both include more hype and bluster than can be adequately described with the written word.

Donald Trump is the Rick Flair of Presidential politics. I can’t wait until he starts working in WOOOOOOS during his stump speeches. Or channeling the late Roddy Piper by wearing a kilt, and playing bagpipes. Lord knows he has the wind for it. I guess out only hop of rescue is a candidate who comes along and uses the legendary Coco Butt on him and knocks him out of the race, and everyone else back to their senses. I hope we can find Bobo Brazil before it’s too late.


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