What Would Hunter Thompson Say?

As the campaign screeches to a halt, at long last, I caught myself last week musing about the late Hunter S. Thompson, and just how he would have covered this one. I can only say the invective would have been thorough, and thick. If you think HST hated Nixon (he did), you can just imagine how he would feel about this run.

My guess is he would have gone on the road a brief time with both campaigns, then retired to the National Affairs Desk to monitor the entire, sordid mess. Beginning each day at the crack of 2pm with Huevos Ranchero, a large pot of coffee, a dozen grapefruit, and an rasher of bacon–all consumed poolside as he perused the various daily rags from around the country. Topped off with a full pitcher of Margaritas. After that, Hunter would begin his day.

He would doubtless have all the major cable-news outlets on at once, swearing at the idiocy at the same time. I trust the word “CAZART” would be uttered more than a few times a day, along with language I likely cannot repeat here.

But given all that, I think HST would simply be shaking his head, and wondering how things got so bad, so fast. He would be wondering how a greed-head like Trump managed to get THIS CLOSE to the Presidency, while at the same time trying to figure out how a “grifter like Clinton”, managed to pull off the same thing on the other side. Wondering all the while where he really was and what the hell had happened.

I’m fairly sure he’d be cranking pages out of the red Selectric, and slipping the Mojo Wire into overdrive. I KNOW he’d have blown the deadline. What I know for sure is the end result would have been glorious to read, and to watch as it happened. I suspect he’d be sorry George McGovern wasn’t there to see it too–and given the caliber of this election, he might even want to apologize to Nixon. (I know–a pipe dream).

On election night, he would have went to wherever Gary Johnson was, and spent the evening there. Lamenting the fact that had Johnson run on the Freak Power ticket, he would have had a fighting chance.

“Aw Mama is this really the end?”




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